Lessons from Valentine’s Day

In the future, I’ll try modeling my relationships on the following observations from days like Valentine’s:

1. There’s a pandemic virus that blooms only 2/14 and destroys every relationship, unless it’s treated with cordiform chocolate.

2. Flowers are a convenient way of expressing anything without having to go through the trouble of saying it in a touching and intelligent way.

3. The reproductive organs of plants are an aphrodisiac. Those of animals are disgusting.

4. Buying your partner gifts on any of 364 days of the year is optional. Buying gifts on one specific day is mandatory.

About these ads

4 Responses to Lessons from Valentine’s Day

  1. rod. says:

    Valentine’s day is just a mega marketing campaign. It disgusts me. If one does indeed care for that most special loved one, there are 365 days a year to show one’s affection. And affectionis not necessarily correlated with flowers, chocolate and material gifts. 2/14 has basically removed surprise, imagination and thrill out of romance. It’s sad.

    Your post is right on, Alon!

  2. You totally just made me laugh

  3. Bruce says:

    I do hope that 3. is the result of a logical conclusion or reliable reporting, rather than the result of a painfully failed experiment.

  4. battlepanda says:

    Heh. I have a pathological aversion to flowers wrapped in cellopane and treat chocolates as a near daily necessity rather than fancy bonbons. Gene and I have pretty much ignored every single valentine’s day since the beginning of our relationship.

    On our anniversary, I did make an effort and reserved a table at a fancy french restaurant. Only to realize that I have nothing to wear that would be considered acceptable garb at a fancy french restaurant. So we went out and had indian food instead.

    Sigh. Maybe some people just don’t have the romance gene.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: