I’m Tired of the Left

I’m tired of the liberal blogosphere’s bickering, so I’ve decided to become a conservative. Obviously, as Ann Althouse has taught us, the most important skill for a conservative is bullshit analysis that can be used against liberals. I invite every conservative reader to judge my quality of bullshit here.

There was a party yesterday for a blogger who’d just published a book, and among the attendees were the following bloggers:

This photo begs for serious intellectual analysis leading to the conclusion that Jill, Jessica, Vanessa, Samhita, and Lindsay are evil, stupid, or both. Without further ado:

– Everyone knows that feminists are all middle-class white women. The inclusion of a South Asian token obviously means they’re trying to lie to people that they’re not.

– Jill and Samhita are dressed, how should I put it, not conservatively. Clearly, they’re flirting with the audience.

– Jessica’s boobs don’t show so much, which indicates she’s pretending not to be a slut after she was caught posing at the Clinton lunch. Fortunately, we good conservatives know her true colors.

– Lindsay’s wearing glasses. She never wears glasses in photos; the fact that she’s wearing them this time means she’s trying to look more intellectual, or less worried about how she looks. She’s staging both perfectly, obviously. Only a brainwashed moonbat would believe she’s really an intellectual.

– Vanessa’s shirt is not completely buttoned. Serious people button up, or maybe leave one button undone; what we have here is prime evidence that Vanessa’s a slob.

– Jessica and Vanessa are hugging affectionately and smiling, which means they’re literally incestuous. Have you seen normal sisters who hug that way on camera? Me neither.


7 Responses to I’m Tired of the Left

  1. Dr. Dem says:

    The one with glasses is a girl? Yikes.

  2. Kian says:

    i think ‘the one with the glasses’ aka lindsay – is the prettiest simply because she’s the most natural looking one – the only one that hasn’t really been dolled up.

  3. SLC says:

    I prefer Jill.

  4. SLC says:

    All of them are a hell of a lot better looking then the hermaphrodite Ann Coulter, better known as the carpenters’ friend (flat as a board).

  5. Kian says:

    Ann Coulter is like a skeleton on crack.

    All the girls are pretty – there is just something to be said for a women who doesn’t take time with all the trivial nonsense of makeup and yadda yadda. I wish I could do that, but I’m too shallow about myself.

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