I need a humor category

Following a creationist troll’s URL link got me to a very funny site called Creation Theory, which has tons of FSM-style tidbits about evolution and cosmology. Of course the people who created Creation Theory really believe it, which somewhat blunts the humor, but it’s still hilarious. For example, in writing about the origin of the Moon, the site says,

[Link] Consider yourself in the position of the designer of a life-supporting planetary system.

On one planet — the planet third from the sun — you have chosen to place life. In pursuit of your plan for life, and a suitable planet for it, you have calculated the need for a satellite or moon of a certain size and mass, needed from a specific time onwards in history. This time will be relatively late in geologic history. Your moon will not be required until immediately preceding the advent of complex organisms. This means that for at the very least four-fifths of the history of the planet, the moon is not needed. Placing it into orbit around the earth from the earliest times would slow the earth’s spin and necessitate various major orbital re-adjustments from time to time. Yet the best time to form the moon is back in time, when the planets are younger. You have a moon, but you do not need it in its final location as yet. What do you do with it?

You store it somewhere.

Where do you store it?

You logically store it at or near its place of origin, and in a place from which its final “owner” can “collect” it.

What is the moon’s place of origin?

It has been built to size and weight. It is exceptional among the stony planets for being large for its mass. It is built from rock, with very little heavy metallic core. Being mostly rock, it is of similar composition to the rock mantle which overlies the metal cores of the stony planets. Mercury, the body currently closest to the sun, is missing a quantity of its mantle. Whether this was the source of the moon, or whether another planet even closer to the centre of the solar system was divided up for the purpose, the end result is the same. The moon almost certainly came from near the centre of our planetary wheel, at a time of upheaval. Heat and disturbance logically had the effect of making nearby bodies ready to shed parts of themselves.

One of the few advantages of being small is that I’m more or less troll-free, which spares me the pain of having to explain why the entire argument is a farce, albeit a funny one.

One Response to I need a humor category

  1. whig says:

    One of the advantages of being a pothead is I can read those kinds of random stories and imagine him thinking that way. And then laugh a bit.

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