Thanks to HP’s new slimming camera, you no longer need to have any photoshop skills to lose weight (hat-tip to Shelley). What previously could only be done to CBS newsanchors is now available to the general public, although the in-built slimming feature is cruder than the Katie Couric photoshop.
Emboldened by the new slimming camera, HP should develop a few more features, though. First, for the benefit of men, it should build a camera with a heightening feature, so that every 1.70 m man can take a picture as if he’s 1.86. Second, it should have a clothing-overlay feature, which covers the subject with more fancy clothes than the ones he’s wearing. Every man should be able to have a picture of himself in a suit; every women should be able to photoshop herself a large wardrobe. Third, it should have a body-overlay feature, which replaces the subject’s body with another person’s and seamlessly integrates the body and the subject’s head.
Fourth, and most importantly, there should be a way of embedding branding marks into the photos. Every person who uses any of the above features should automatically have an “S” branding (for shallow) photoshopped on his forehead.